


For You And I

by NovaStars42



Series: The Kids Aren't Alright [12]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Absent Parents, BFFs, Bad Parenting, Best Friends, Cute Ending, Darkleer is a good parent, Equius is a good friend, Equius likes to work on cars, Fourth of July, Humanstuck, Hurt/Comfort, Meowrails, Nepeta has some heavy shit to deal with, Past Character Death, Past Infidelity, Signless and Disciple not so much, The Jungle Book - Freeform, VHS Tapes, does anyone remember those? I do, past death of a parent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 19:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7520815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovaStars42/pseuds/NovaStars42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nepeta didn't want to know who her father was. She leaves her mother's party to seek comfort in her best friend. </p><p>Directly fallows Not Listening</p>
            </blockquote>





	For You And I

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everybody! I have returned a grand champion! So here's the deal, I am celebrating one year here on ao3 and 8 years on fanfiction! I plan to update ALL of my stories in progress in celebration! Let me know what you guys think about this chapter and the one upcoming! Song for this chapter is "You and I" by Pvris, who I've seen in concert. :3
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0NqJgcbHe8&list=PLwBvGRZ4qTdnLZHpBumYJM2m92t14U8x6&index=12

"So, I'm not exactly sure how to tell you all this," Signless Vantas, my mom's boyfriend, cleared his throat, "and I suppose there's no easy way to say it."

"Motherfucker, please," Karkat growled, " spit it out."

Mr. Vantas looked pretty mad, like he might yell, but my mom put her hand on his arm.

"Signless and I are together," she began carefully. That was old news. Mr. Vantas had been coming over for dinner for months. I liked him. His son Karkat was in my grade, and we'd been friends since we were little. Not friends like I was with Equius, but we were friends. I blinked slowly, and tried to understand what my mom was getting at.

"We sort of got back together," Mr. Vantas continued. He was looking sort of nervous now. "As in, we were together before."

"Yes," Mom agreed, "about seventeen years ago."

Seventeen years ago? Well, my sister was seventeen, she'd be eighteen in a few weeks. What else happened seventeen years ago? That would have been like.. Nineteen ninety nine?

Karkat put it together faster than me.

"Are you saying you cheated on my mother with her?" Karkat screeched. His face turned red and his entire body went ridged. I was standing directly next to him and I sort of shied away.

"Karkat," his father warned.

"No! You're going to fucking listen to me! Are you saying you cheated on my mom with her?" He screamed. I bet all of our neighbors could hear him. Everybody would be talking tomorrow.

It wasn't that I was too slow to figure it out, I just couldn't believe my ears. That couldn't be. My mom was honest, she wouldn't be anyone's mistress.

"That's what happened," my mom said gently, her gaze soft and sorry. My jaw dropped.

We all just sort of stood there in disbelief while a long, awkward silence fell over us. My mom was the one to break it, and she dropped a horrible bombshell on us.

"Girls, Signless is your father."

Karkat absolutely fucking lost it.

"You mean to tell me while my mother was dying of fucking cancer you were running around having kids with, of all people, with her?" He hollered, "I never even got to fucking know her and you took her for granted?"

His dad's face was hard and distressed when he answered. "We should have waited to tell you."

"Fuck you! You douche sucking, dog humping shit for brains! Fuck all of you! I'm going home!" Karkat's voice was so loud it cracked. He shrieked, throwing his hands up in the air as he stormed out. I could see tears streaming down his face as he left, and I heard our front door slam shut.

We all just sort of stood there, frozen after he walked out. I didn't blame him for leaving, he had a lot to take in, and that was just his way of dealing with it. I don't know what I would have done if that happened to me.

And then I sort of realized it just had.

I looked back at my sister. Meulin's eyebrows were furrowed as Kurloz spelled words to her, explaining the situation in sign language. She hadn't heard any of that seeing as she was deaf and Mr. Vantas had been too far away to read all of his words from his lips. Her jaw dropped when he finished.

'Really?' She signed frantically. Kurloz nodded.

Kankri just sort of stood there blinking, like he hadn't actually heard anything our parents had said.

I looked back at the adults who were both looking very sheepish. My mom was frowning, her long, tightly curled hair was draped over her shoulders in a way I knew she didn't like. Mr. Vantas swallowed hard and looked over at her for help.

I very slowly realized he was more than just Mr. Vantas. He was my father. Father.

After years and years if asking. After years and years of my mom avoiding the question, my father was here, on a hot afternoon on the Fourth of July.

That sure was a thing just happened. I didn't know how to react.

It wasn't like I just decided to cry, but the tears just came. Fat drops of salt water rolled down my cheeks, and fell from my chin to the fabric of my shirt.

"Well, um," my sister began from over my shoulder. I didn't turn to look at her. "I think if it's time for you guys to come clean, it's time for us too."

"No," Kurloz groaned in his gravelly, slurred voice.

"I'm pregnant!" She spoke cheerfully, unable to hear her boyfriend. I could imagine her awkward smile and wringing nervous hands. I already knew about all that of course.

My mother blanched. "You what?"

I heard Kurloz groan.

"I'm sixteen weeks," she replied cheerfully.

"I'm sorry, Miss Leijon," Kurloz added mournfully. I bet his face was in his hands.

My mother stepped off the porch to fuss with Meulin. I registered her voice but I wasn't listening to what she was saying. I was too busy gazing through wet eyes up at Signless Vantas.

He was a hundred feet tall. He was looking down, watching me, and he cracked an awkward smile.

"Nepeta, are you alright?" He asked quietly, holding out a hand for mine. I thought maybe he might pull me into a hug or something if I took it. I didn't want to hug him. I was angry with him. Not as angry as Karkat, but very angry.

"I don't want you to touch me," I choked, and then I hiccuped hard and my shoulders shook with the first sob.

"Disciple," he called, frowning deeply. His unsure eyes flicked from me to my mother and then back to me.

"Signless, not now. Nepeta, I'm coming, just give me a minute," my mom replied, sounding deeply bothered and annoyed. I noted Meulin crying too, and then I decided Karkat had the right idea.

"I'm," I managed, "going to Equius's house."

"Disciple," Signless tried again, but she didn't reply. He reached out further, going for my arm, but I shook him off. I wanted him to get the fuck away from me as fast as possible. I didn't run like Karkat did, but I certainly walked out of there as fast as I could.

It was a pretty short walk next door to the Zahhak's house.

My best friend had lived next door to me for as long as we both could remember. I started out taller than him in preschool, and for years we'd been the same height, but now he was beginning to inch taller. Equius liked to wrench on cars, and that's where I found him, under his nineteen eighty four El Camino.

The garage door was open, and he was under the car, so I just stood in his driveway.

I remembered when he got this heap of rust for his birthday last year. He'd excellence in middle school junior auto shop, and so his father bought the blue vehicle for him. It didn't run, yet. The goal was his sixteenth birthday.

I tried really hard to be quiet, but I really couldn't. I hiccuped, just once, but it was loud.

Like a cartoon, Equius jolted, smacking his head on something with a loud clank and a groan.

"Nepeta? Is that you?" He exclaimed, rolling out from under the car on some skateboard looking thing, holding the goose egg firming on his head.

I laughed a little, unable to help myself, forcing tears down my cheeks.

"Are you crying?" He gushed, standing up to wipe the grease and sweat off of his face.

I nodded, wiping my own tears.

"Are you hurt?" He looked me over, frowning, "is this anything to do with the yelling?"

I didn't care if he was covered in oil or grease, or drenched in gasoline. I needed a good old fashioned best friend hug. I pressed my face into his shoulder and drew in a deep breath.

"Karkatsdadismydadandhisdadandnobodytoldanybodyand-" my words fell out of my mouth like running water. Like a dam broke and nothing could hold it back anymore.

"Nepeta, hush!" Equius scolded, "you must speak so I can understand."

I drew in another breath, exhaled slowly, and then inhaled again. "My mom told us that Karkat's dad is my dad. I'm just really, really sad. And angry."

"Come again?" he asked haughtily. Equius sort of always sounded deadpan. After puberty, his voice had ended up very monotone and it didn't waver much. He also had this sort of higher than thou way of speaking, I was used to it though. He smelled really strongly like sweat and anti-perspirant.

"Karkat's dad is my dad. Karkat and I are half siblings. They picked today to tell us."

My sentences felt like puke. Sort of like when somebody gets the flu, like when you try so hard to keep down the bile but you just retched and retched and throw up over and over again. Equius put an arm around around me, just under my shoulders and patted my back.

"While I cannot speak as to the reasonings why, I am sure… both of your parents have very good reasonings as to why this went on. However, their conduct was unacceptable and inexcusable."

"Yeah," I agreed. I didn't have much else to say.

"I don't suppose a movie would make it any better?

"Can we watch The Jungle Book?" I asked, giving him my best puppy dog eyes.

He huffed, rolling his eyes and smiling a little to create a look of strange contentment. "I suppose."

My smile rebounded. For as much as Equius hated Disney, he always kept a VHS copy of The Jungle Book from our childhood. He knew it was my favorite, once upon a time it was his favorite too.

"I'll require a shower," he huffed. Yeah. He did. I detached myself from him and we made our way into his house though the garage door.

Equius's dad was a dad to be jealous of. He might have been almost six foot tall and built like a brick wall, but he also cooked and kept their house clean. He was elbows deep in spaghetti salad when we entered the house.

"Afternoon, Nepeta," he greeted, smiling at me with crooked teeth. He was reserved, but never cold.

"Hi! Happy Fourth of July!" I returned his greeting, along with a hug.

"And what are you both up to today?" He inquired.

"Movie night!" I chirped. Equius rolled his eyes again.

For a moment he looked deep in thought. He was probably mulling over the argument he'd heard from my yard and then weighing the effects of it.

"Jungle book?" He asked. I smiled a little wider and nodded.

"Have fun. Dinner will be ready shortly if you are hungry."

I didn't tell him I'd already eaten. I just bid him goodbye for now and left with Equius for his room. He took clean cloths with him and left for the bathroom, instructing me to get the movie started.

His room was a mess of car parts and auto swappers. The desk that was meant for his projects was overflowing, and has spilled over to the floor. Mufflers sat on newspapers and the mirrors off the El Camino were submerged in a five gallon bucket of Cola, which apparently was great for stripping rust. Rags lay everywhere. A jug of oil was spilled and never mobbed up, staining is white carpet black in a large puddle in the center of the room. Equius had tried to move his bed to cover it, but only succeeded in cracking his bed frame.

I found the movie tape buried under a stack of dirty cloths. He had an old style box TV from the year our older siblings were born with a built in player, and I pushed the tape in.

I was meet with static on screen. I wasn't sure if it was the static on the beginning of the end, so I waited a moment to see. When the screen went blank I knew it was the end, so I hastily pressed the rewind button and proceded to watch the movie backwards at twice the speed. Once it was finished, it clicked and switched to play. I got up and hit the pause button.

Equius might take a while, so I decided to lay back on his bed. Sleep overs were always fun because his bed was twice the size of mine. His blue bedding smelled clean and his blankets were soft.

I was buried under his covers when my best friend entered the room, leaving the door open behind him. He'd put on his favorite MOPAR shirt and tied his hair back into a wet ponytail. Equius threw his dirty clothes into the pile and flipped the play button. He sat down on the bed next to me, leaning on the headboard.

The opening credits rolled and we settled in.

Bagheera the panther had just found the 'man cub' when my phone dinged with a text message.

<<From: Meulin :3 Message: Nepeta! Where are you? Timestamp: 7:45 >>

<<To: Meulin :3 Message: Next door with equius Timestamp: 7:45 >>

<<From: Meulin :3 Message: Ohh! Well, mom blew a gasket but she's okay now. Mr. Vantas, er, uh.. Anyway, he went home. Timestamp: 7:46 >>

Equius looked over at me, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. I shifted, so he could see my phone so he could read it too.

<<To: Meulin :3 Message: Ohhhh! Well, uh, that's good, I guess. Timestamp: 7:47 >>

<<From: Meulin :3 Message: Yeah! Timestamp: 7:47 >>

<<From: Meulin :3 Message: But! Hey! Nothing's open but Kankri and Kurloz and I are going for a ride anyway. Do you wanna come? :3 Timestamp: 7:48 >>

<<To: Meulin :3 Message: No, that's okay. I'm gonna stay with Equius. Timestamp: 7:49 >>

<<From: Meulin :3 Message: Okay! Have fun sis! Timestamp: 7:50 >>

I snuggled back down into the blankets and sighed, tossing my phone down by my feet. The switch from the hot outside to the chilling air condoning was a little much and I was still adjusting. Paired with the crying I'd done, my sinuses hurt.

"Equius, can I tell you something?" I asked. I felt like time restarted. Like 00:00 on the clock was the moment my mother confessed. Everything weighed so heavy, and it got heavier with every second that ticked by.

"You may," he chatted.

"I'm still pretty," I paused, thinking of the right word, "pretty aggravated over this whole thing with my mom and Mr. Vantas."

He hummed in response. I continued.

"I just feel like, if he was always there, why didn't he ever, like, do stuff with us? Like, okay, I get that he wanted to be careful around his wife, but she died a long time ago. Not even like, took all of us, you know, Kankri and Karkat and Meu and me, out and done something. My mom and him never got together, not until about a year ago. Signless hid it from all of us." And then I realized, "they both hid it. This feels wrong."

"You have not asked for my input, but I will give it if you would like," he stated plainly.

I nodded, snuggling a little closer to him.

"My parents divorced when we were very young. Obviously I have a mother, but I don't know her, much like you. I can sympathize with your anger. What you feel is valid," Equius paused for a moment, looked across me to glance out the window, and then returned his attention. "Nepeta, be angry. But give negative feelings a limited leash."

I cocked an eyebrow. "Are you saying I should just.. Be mad until I don't feel mad anymore? And then stop?"

"Precisely," he nodded.

I furrowed my eyebrows and set my jaw, mulling over his suggestion. That sounded… Reasonable. I guessed.

"Are you pouting?" He deadpanned.

"No!" I answered.

"Yes," he insisted.

"No!" I huffed, scrunching my nose and perusing my lips.

"Now you are."

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Whatever." I pulled him even closer, slouching down to rest my head on his shoulder. He didn't move. On screen, Mowgli and Baloo the bear discussed the Bear Necessities of life through song, while Bagheera watched, as horrified as his little animated face could look. I loved the jungle. One day, I hoped I could see it first hand.

"You're my best friend, Equius."

"And you are mine, Nepeta."

**Author's Note:**

> ahh! Equius was really fun to write! He was fun to research too because other people's perceptions of him are a lot different than mine. Hes actually sort of shy, and hes not a big talker! I tried to make Nepeta less how the fandom perceives her (cute, childish) and more like a real, feeling person. This is a big deal! I guess we'll see how this whole thing pans out?


End file.
